Built to Compete: Bulking Cycle

I’ve mentioned nutrition periodization before and I wanted to talk about my current bulking cycle. I’ll get into the physical benefits and also the mental side of it. Being an eating disorder survivor and trying to put on mass during my most triggering time of year is one of the toughest challenges that I’ve faced since leaving rehab. Let’s see how I’m doing.

For a bit of context, I did a mini cut back in August to trim a little weight for a competitive qualifier, mostly to make the gymnastic movements easier. For those confused, cutting means cutting weight, which means that I was in a bit of a caloric deficit. Not enough to severely impact my performance but you could see the difference. I went into a maintenance phase after that (meaning, I was back to my usual macro split to maintain my weight) for a few weeks. Then I asked my coach about our upcoming cycle because I wanted to try a bulking cycle. A bulking cycle is where you try to put on weight, usually in the form of muscle mass, by eating in a caloric surplus. It’s not an excuse to eat anything and everything! I’ve only increased my daily calories by 5% and added in 17g of protein and carbs to support the additional strength training that I’m doing.

When you bulk, you most likely will put on a little fat in addition to the muscle, which is why you cut back down to maintenance and change your workouts a bit to favor cardio. I’m currently experiencing that and let me tell you, it’s a mind f*ck. My lifts are increasing by 30% across the board, my stamina is still there, and most surprisingly, my gymnastics capacity is IMPROVING! I’m shocked by that sitting a bit heavier than I have been, that’s usually not how it works.

As stoked as I am about those performance increases, it’s challenging to see myself in the mirror some days. I feel and look stronger but I also see where I’m a bit softer and have a little more jiggle. I watched a training video of myself and thought, “Oof, my hips look wide!” I put myself in this cycle and I knew what would happen, but it’s different to see it. I have to consciously remind myself of the bigger goal: to get stronger for the CrossFit Open and especially Quarterfinals. I want to make it to the next level, Semi-Finals, so I need to be stronger. That means sacrificing the aesthetics now in favor of my ultimate goal.

Woof that’s a hard pill to swallow. I’m sharing this because I’m human as well. I want people to understand the psychological side of nutrition cycles so that they have a resource. I still have four weeks of bulking before I begin my cut in January and I’m still excited for the results. Sometimes things may feel challenging and uncomfortable but if it’s going to help you achieve your larger goal, isn’t it worth it? The caveat to that is when it becomes harmful to your health. I’ve been on the other side of it as well and I strongly encourage those in that place to get help.

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