Bali… Thank You
I came back from Bali this past Monday and have spent the time reflecting on what I want to carry with me from this experience. Not to sound cliché but it changed me. This trip arrived when I needed it and I wasn’t prepared to allow myself to need it before I left. I was treating it like any other trip. I’ll probably end up writing a few posts so that I don’t ramble on too much.
How did I end up in Bali anyway? Well, my gymnastics coach posted about a retreat that included CrossFit and surfing (we love these) so I mentioned I would be down. The intention was for the trip to be a 30th birthday present for myself. Little did I know that a few weeks after my dad would pass away. That’s when my husband said, “You’re going to Bali, we’ll figure it out.” A few months later, the sign-up link came out and I put down my deposit. I was going to Bali!
I didn’t have expectations for the trip but as it drew nearer, I started to get nervous. I had never traveled internationally by myself and I was nervous. I had three flights to get there and back from Indonesia and I was starting to psych myself out that I would miss one. I’m happy to say that thirty-six hours and three flights later, I landed in Bali with no issues! I had already had a lot of experiences that bolstered my confidence by the time I got to Indonesia, including exchanging money in Taipei. I had a feeling I would be able to handle anything and that I was supported by God as well as my friends.
And supported I was. It’s incredible what a change in environment will do for you. I began to see growth in myself that had been stifled by a lot of external factors that I internalized. I had begun to believe lies that I’d been told about my abilities and myself as a person. There were quite a few times that I realized I was going to have to do a lot of work to dismantle them. They didn’t fester overnight and they won’t be eradicated in a night. I could see pieces of me that I’d buried for a long time such as unrelenting positivity and confidence. I chose to water those traits in myself and others. I wasn’t as judgemental as I had allowed myself to become, I wasn’t hard or sarcastic, I was just… me. I was the person I let go of to fit in and I didn’t even fit in!
Now that I’m back in the States, I’m going to keep those traits alive. The energy and good vibes from Bali can live on in my interactions with anyone I meet and any room that I enter. If you’re a little lost, maybe take a trip. It doesn’t have to be grand, just an environment where you can allow yourself to heal and grow. I often say that healthier humans are better people in regards to nutrition but it extends to your mind as well as self-esteem.
